if you just want the juicy details where i leave, i'll make disclaimer where it begins, if you just want to know what happened with the elders and organization after i realized it wasn't true, i'll mark that seperately.
we didn't do jack shit in service, or in the congregation.
maybe this was how jehovah came about?
thanks for sharing Jonathan, your story made me cry- is all too familiar- yes it is cathardic to share, & it helped me to share in your pain (I hoped it helped you write it)
best of luck to you & please keep us posted with update to how you and your wife is doing (and your sister)
CHG
oh yea...I will take a caramel latte please, extra foam & caramel drizzel (chocolate sprinkles if you have em)
i was reading a thread on here that got me thinking.. what is the purpose of confession if not another method of mind control?
back in ancient israel, confession was just this thing you did if you were a good jew.
just like observing sabbath, fasting.. you get the point.
I am in the same company as all of you who married a JW, I had almost same experience as Morbidz- I was also PISSED when hubby all of a sudden had a pang of guilt because he was just appointed a MS and went crazy- he remembered one time in his car when he was touching me thru my underwear and he thinks I orgasmed (I was faking it of course),
we had the elders meeting but no official JC and no private reproof-
sizemik wins though...stoned while giving your talk made me snort my drink out my nose- lol
CHG
hello all at jwn,.
so my mom called to tell me that my dad wont be able to come back home, he has been on kidney dialysis (along with having congestive heart failure and diabetes and dimentia...) but now he is breaking down and will have to be admitted to a hospice center for the remainder of his time left (without dialysis wont be two weeks).
most of you know my situation, faded (not dfd or dad) but most of my family treats me like i am disfellowshipped except my mom and she keeps getting warnings from elders to cut off dealings with me- my dad is inactive but as head of the household he demands that i be able to visit and take care of mom and dad (so my mom must be submissive to his wishes).
Jamie,
thanks for your thoughts too- yes I am trying to keep in mind my mom has been with dad for over 50 years- she will need my help through this and after the dust settles...I hope I can still continue this fade for her
CHG
hello all at jwn,.
so my mom called to tell me that my dad wont be able to come back home, he has been on kidney dialysis (along with having congestive heart failure and diabetes and dimentia...) but now he is breaking down and will have to be admitted to a hospice center for the remainder of his time left (without dialysis wont be two weeks).
most of you know my situation, faded (not dfd or dad) but most of my family treats me like i am disfellowshipped except my mom and she keeps getting warnings from elders to cut off dealings with me- my dad is inactive but as head of the household he demands that i be able to visit and take care of mom and dad (so my mom must be submissive to his wishes).
thanks for your quick responces everyone
serenitynow- thanks for your reply, you have a good suggestion (unfortunately, my best friend is CSG & I have "friends" but not on a intimacy level where I would ask them to take time off work & travel an hour away with me)....my brother will be there- he is a fader like me (read crisis of conscience & is also trying to heal from WTS) and he will be a great support
broken promises- thank you too, I also hope for a peaceful exit for him- he has been in so much pain I just hope they can make it comfortable for him...I think mentally he is ready to go. I do not know what his hopes for any afterlife are....he is a baptized JW but just went along to marry my mom in the 1950's
emptyinside- thanks for your reply...I never know what to say to others in these circumstances but it is a comfort to me to have people acknowledge some understanding on any level
journey-on- I appreciate your advise, I fear that JWs will say stupid things...but I am preparing a "broken record" responce to any foolishness- the only thing I want is to honor and respect my father and be there as a daughter for both of my parents- the rest of them can leave me alone- I hope my guy can understand that he may not be able to be there for me in person on this one...but I never doubt that he will be my greatest support
Jadeen- do JWs ever really behave???lol....I hope to remain calm and strong and give them no opening to get all preachy bout resurrection hopes and "you better do something if you want to see him again in paradise"
GL- thanks for your sympathies...my mom is the one making the funeral arrangements, she insisted on a JW service but I believe that because he is inactive they will not let her have it at the hall- so graveside it will be, my dad doesn't give a rats ass about it (he is just letting her have her way) so it will be interesting- unfortunately he is not really lucid to have these last minute conversations with.... dad did get to meet Coffee House Guy once when mom was at an assembly, it was a positive meeting and I'm glad we had that moment
Flipper- thanks to you and Mrs. for your well wishes, as always CGS and I thank you for your support....I will stick to the plan :)
CHG
hello all at jwn,.
so my mom called to tell me that my dad wont be able to come back home, he has been on kidney dialysis (along with having congestive heart failure and diabetes and dimentia...) but now he is breaking down and will have to be admitted to a hospice center for the remainder of his time left (without dialysis wont be two weeks).
most of you know my situation, faded (not dfd or dad) but most of my family treats me like i am disfellowshipped except my mom and she keeps getting warnings from elders to cut off dealings with me- my dad is inactive but as head of the household he demands that i be able to visit and take care of mom and dad (so my mom must be submissive to his wishes).
Hello all at JWN,
so my mom called to tell me that my dad wont be able to come back home, he has been on kidney dialysis (along with having congestive heart failure and diabetes and dimentia...) but now he is breaking down and will have to be admitted to a hospice center for the remainder of his time left (without dialysis wont be two weeks)
most of you know my situation, faded (not DFd or DAd) but most of my family treats me like I am disfellowshipped except my mom and she keeps getting warnings from elders to cut off dealings with me- my dad is inactive but as head of the household he demands that I be able to visit and take care of mom and dad (so my mom must be submissive to his wishes)
she has made it clear that she will shun me if I am DF'd and she does not know formally that I am seeing Coffee Shop Guy or that I am engaged
Do I just throw in the towell?? I would like Coffee Shop Guy there for support but yet don't think the timing may be appropriate to throw that on the fire-
None of the rest of my JW has spoken to me...what do I have to expect from them??
The elder that has hounded me in the past and who I have registered a "cease and desist" letter with is slated to do the funeral talk (graveside service)
What are your experiences??
Thanks for reading
CHG
hey all out there on jwn, newbies and veteran favories:.
i faded from my cong about 21 months ago and have been talking about my experiences leaving the org to a journalist who is interested in doing a freelance piece on exiting jws or even jws who have doubts/have eyes opened about the wtbs and stay "in" for family/friends.
to put her subject of interest in her own words, she wants experiences of jws who are:.
Welcome Diest-
When I was in the organization and decided to try to sneak out without DFing or DAing, I was foolish enough to think I was about the only one who thought about leaving with a "tactical plan" lol....
when I came to this site one of the first things I realized that not only had tons of people left the religion with a plan like me (a plan to sneak away and still be able to talk to family)..but that there was a slang term for it "fading"- I laughed to by boyfriend about how naive I was
Now I have read about many elaborate fading plans on JWN, I wish I had seen this site before I started my fade....I would have avoided some of the heartache caused by my paticular method of exiting
CHG
hey all out there on jwn, newbies and veteran favories:.
i faded from my cong about 21 months ago and have been talking about my experiences leaving the org to a journalist who is interested in doing a freelance piece on exiting jws or even jws who have doubts/have eyes opened about the wtbs and stay "in" for family/friends.
to put her subject of interest in her own words, she wants experiences of jws who are:.
Thanks for your interest i will reply to all with interview questions- she fb me today to tell me she has a list of questions to email me- I will forward :)
CHG
my wife and i don't discuss the watchtower too much.
i'm atheist, and she knows there's nothing she can say to change that.
besides, she knows i've been doing a great deal of research into the society and could decimate any argument she could put forward that the wtbts is what it says it is, so she doesn't want to go there at all.
Nickolas,
I grew up with my mom as the JW and my dad as the unbelieving mate...there is a lot of "sympathy" extended to these "spritual widows" by elders in the cong. Periodically, the elders would have a "shepherding call" with me and my mom. That is supposed to be an informal meeting with two elders and someone in the cong. that is deemed in need of "encouragement"-
it is done in the guise that "you sister have been soooo loyal to the WTBS and it is such a shame that you are in this terrible situation (married to an athiest) so close to the end of this system of things-satan is trying extra hard to weaken your faith...let us read you some encouraging counsel from the bible and you cry on our shoulder....
then mom would cry about the horrors of living with an unbelieving mate, how they have nothing in common without a shared love of Jehovah, how hard it is to raise children in the "truth", and how hard it is to drive to meetings alone after dark...yada yada
after some shepherding calls, elders would come to try to talk to my dad & try as NewChapter said "try to get some common ground with you" as to informal witness to you- they are trying to make you see that JWs are normal people and soften your heart toward them
these visits to my dad always ended in my dad swearing at them, embarassing my mom-
this process would occur every 3-5 years (thats how long it would take the elders in my cong to get around to thinking that they should encourage the flock)
thats my experience...all I can say is hold your ground and be a loving husband as you have always been (you have never said anything evil about her on this board, it is clear that you love her very much and just want to help her- it is my hope that you will be the one to succeed...not them)
CHG
hey all out there on jwn, newbies and veteran favories:.
i faded from my cong about 21 months ago and have been talking about my experiences leaving the org to a journalist who is interested in doing a freelance piece on exiting jws or even jws who have doubts/have eyes opened about the wtbs and stay "in" for family/friends.
to put her subject of interest in her own words, she wants experiences of jws who are:.
Thanks for your help Reopened!
CHG
hey all out there on jwn, newbies and veteran favories:.
i faded from my cong about 21 months ago and have been talking about my experiences leaving the org to a journalist who is interested in doing a freelance piece on exiting jws or even jws who have doubts/have eyes opened about the wtbs and stay "in" for family/friends.
to put her subject of interest in her own words, she wants experiences of jws who are:.
Hey all out there on JWN, newbies and veteran favories:
I faded from my cong about 21 months ago and have been talking about my experiences leaving the org to a journalist who is interested in doing a freelance piece on exiting JWs or even JWs who have doubts/have eyes opened about the WTBS and stay "in" for family/friends. To put her subject of interest in her own words, she wants experiences of JWs who are:
"not devoted to the religion nor strictly disfellowshipped--the ones who pretend for sake of keeping their friends/family, and who maybe have to live in secrecy, to some degree."
She is going to submit a list of questions in interview format that I will be participating in, but I was in hopes that maybe you out there on this support site would like to lend your perspectives also
I can vouch for her as never having been in the organization, she is a graduate of University of Chicago, and she understands the importance of keeping identities hidden- so no names or personal info please- just need your feelings and experiences
Please PM me if you are interested in participating, or if you live in the Denver area and wish to speak with her in person...she is willing to sit down and talk with anyone interested.
Thank you,
CHG
